Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Beijing 2008 or Bust




Last Saturday, Noa had her first of 6 swim lessons in preparation for her 2008 Summer Olympic Games debut. Coach Dad was relentless in his quest to get Noa Sloan's lap time fast enough to qualify for the 400m individual medley. Noa, however, flat out refused to swim even one lap, and intensely resisted her usual warm up of blowing bubbles and playing with the rubber ducky. With teardrops flowing from her face into the pool water, Noa definitely did not bring her A-Game.

Some say it was her choice of swimwear; a pink heart bikini hardly screams I'm Olympic Material. Others blame her rookie swimmer status. Was it too soon to graduate from the kitchen sink to a 50 foot pool?

Ever the believer, Dad is NOT throwing in the towel just yet. Disappointed in Mom, who will hardly dip a toe in the water, Dad is determined to make a tadpole out of someone in the Benerofe Family!

Click HERE to see how the whole thing went down.

Sunday, October 14, 2007

Big Pink Fury Creatures From Mars


As reported by guest blogger Dad:

All along I've had complete control, well maybe not complete control, but at least partial control over my arms and hands. But this morning, something was wrong. Something was very wrong!

You see, a few weeks ago, I figured out how to stick my hands in my mouth. Not only do they taste great, but when I'm feeling tired or cranky, it helps me relax too.

It's a good program. Good for all parties involved.

Then today, Mom and Dad took me for a brisk early morning walk when all of a sudden my hands turned pink and fuzzy. Now I've seen a lot in the last 3 1/2 months ever since I stopped going cross-eyed. But this, this was new. Had Mom put back one too many glasses of vino the night before? Had she spiked my milk? Had she slipped me a Mickey? Was I halucinating?

HELLO...MY HANDS ARE PINK AND FURRY! A LITTLE HELP HERE!

Next thing I know these two giant furballs are trying to eat my face. I'm bobbing and weaving, but I can't get out of the way. I seemed to be restrained in my stroller. There was nowhere to turn, they kept coming at me from both sides.

I was totally about to lose it and then just as fast as the furballs were there...they were gone. All ten fingers back on my hands! Did that really just happen? Should I mention this to anyone? Will they think I'm crazy? I'll keep this to myself I think...I'll just put my fingers back in my mouth and pretend it never happened......

Sunday, October 7, 2007

Noa Sloan* Gets an Asterisk



First Barry Bonds, then Marion Jones, now Noa Sloan.

Monday's afternoon weigh-in at Dr. Eisenberg's office has many eyebrows raised in speculation that Noa Sloan might be the newest superbaby to hit the juice. The stats simply cannot be ignored: 14lbs 15oz at just 3-months old! One can't help but wonder if Noa could've ever reached this impressive weight without the help of performance enhancing drugs.

Through a teary apology, Noa Sloan denied knowingly participating in the alleged human growth hormone use, claiming: "I knew my mommy was feeding me something, but she always told me it was nutritionally supplemented breastmilk and I believed her!"

Noa Sloan may very well be stripped of her Exersaucer and Bouncy-Seat should an ongoing investigation by the International Gymboree Association find her guilty.

Mom and Dad remain positive, confident that the recent allegations won't hinder their daughter's future aspirations of rolling over and crawling.