Noa Sloan Orders off the Kiddie Menu

THIS JUST IN!

Putting an end to an intensive 187-day fast consisting only of breastmilk and formula, Noa Sloan rejected the usual pre-nap bottle and shocked us all by asking to order off the kiddie menu instead. Although the chicken parmesan and coconut shrimp both sounded delish, she went with oatmeal in the end. Based on this face, we're not so sure she made the right choice.

Queen of the Beach

It's been quite a busy year for Noa, and its no wonder: being born is pretty exhausting! She's finally cleared her schedule and treated her parents to a relaxing vacation on sunny Sanibel Island, Florida. Noa's adjusted to island-life pretty quickly: taking daily dips in the pool, strolling the beach for shells, and trying to get a little color on those pasty thighs.

More pictures of the little monkey's adventures are posted HERE, but in the meantime, here's a shot of Noa "walking" the very same beach where Mom and Dad first met 15 years ago!

Miss December 2007

Noa sure does have quite an advantage in the dating pool these days!

While it might be all about the ladies in the Benerofe house, this was definitely "The Year of the Boy". In 2007, all the babies born to Mom and Dad's friends were handsome boys except for the adorable Anabel, & Ana. The three of them will just have to duke it out for the affections of Manny, Tanner, Jack, Chet, Mikey, Charlie, Leo, Sammy, Kai, Kavi, Adin, Oliver, and Josua.

Weighing in at a respectable 17lbs 5oz, there's certainly enough of Noa to go around!

She's Got the Whole World In Her Hands...

Topless Photos of NSB Hit the Web

It was only a matter of time before the topless glamour-shots of Noa Sloan taken at just 3 months old made their way onto the Internet.

The pictures were obviously shot when Noa Sloan was young and naive (note the full head of hair), before her "celebrity" brought her into the public eye.

In an rare interview given to Us Weekly, NSB defends her decision to bare it all on camera. "I needed the money back then. I was livin' off nothin' but formula and breastmilk. I was so broke, I had to suck my own thumb if I was hungry and had nothing to eat. Those shots paid my way thru Gymboree!"

Mom and Dad are said to be devastated by the leak and are strongly considering a preventative 28-day Breastmilk Anonymous program in an effort to curb this wild behavior.

Starting the Day with a Smile

Noa gives us the biggest smiles when we come in her room to get her when she wakes up. Mom and Dad wish they were as happy as Noa is when their "alarm clock" rings bright and early in the morning!

Young Explorer Discovers Unchartered Territory

After 5 months of searching, Noa Sloan has finally found her feet!

An accomplished explorer in her own right, having discovered her thumbs at 12 weeks old, Mom and Dad are not surprised that her curiosity has headed south to her feet.

Their rumored existence had been haunting Noa for weeks on end, sending her into leg-kicking frenzies hoping some shadow of even the tiniest toe might make an appearance over the horizon of those oh-so-chubby thighs.

Turns out they were down there this whole time...right under her nose...er, ankles!

Noa's on a Roll...Literally!

Noa's First Kiss

We always knew Noa was irresistible, but apparently her charms are not lost on even the youngest of admirers. Last week, Noa's buddy Tanner scooted across the room unprovoked and planted a big wet one right on her bald spot. It doesn't look like Noa was too psyched about the smooch, and Dad is hoping it stays that way for at least 17 more years!

Noa's Getting Lippy

Unbeknownst to Mom and Dad, Noa Sloan's been taking language classes. Currently enrolled in Babble 101 at the local community college, Noa finally felt confident enough to try out some of what she's learned on her wide-eyed parents.

"Languages are not my strong-suit," says Mom. "It sounds like she's practicing for her half-Torah portion, but she could also be warning us of an impending explosion in her diaper," adds Dad.

Noa seems determined to achieve fluency in Babble before moving on to its more difficult sister language: English. She can be heard practicing her Babble vocab words from her crib, on her changing table and while sucking on her hands.

Can any of you guys translate for us? Click HERE to see the video of our little chatterbox.

Pumpkin and her Cousin Elmo

Halloween in Chicago just might be a new Lewis Family tradition! Pumpkin and Elmo took to the streets last night making Trick-or-Treating a joint effort. Not as mobile or vocal as her older cousin, Noa kicked back in her orange velour jumpsuit while Meredith delivered the candy right to her stroller. How convenient for Mom, who ate most of it!

Check out all the Chicago fun, including more Halloween pics HERE.

Beijing 2008 or Bust

Last Saturday, Noa had her first of 6 swim lessons in preparation for her 2008 Summer Olympic Games debut. Coach Dad was relentless in his quest to get Noa Sloan's lap time fast enough to qualify for the 400m individual medley. Noa, however, flat out refused to swim even one lap, and intensely resisted her usual warm up of blowing bubbles and playing with the rubber ducky. With teardrops flowing from her face into the pool water, Noa definitely did not bring her A-Game.

Some say it was her choice of swimwear; a pink heart bikini hardly screams I'm Olympic Material. Others blame her rookie swimmer status. Was it too soon to graduate from the kitchen sink to a 50 foot pool?

Ever the believer, Dad is NOT throwing in the towel just yet. Disappointed in Mom, who will hardly dip a toe in the water, Dad is determined to make a tadpole out of someone in the Benerofe Family!

Click HERE to see how the whole thing went down.

Big Pink Fury Creatures From Mars

As reported by guest blogger Dad:

All along I've had complete control, well maybe not complete control, but at least partial control over my arms and hands. But this morning, something was wrong. Something was very wrong!

You see, a few weeks ago, I figured out how to stick my hands in my mouth. Not only do they taste great, but when I'm feeling tired or cranky, it helps me relax too.

It's a good program. Good for all parties involved.

Then today, Mom and Dad took me for a brisk early morning walk when all of a sudden my hands turned pink and fuzzy. Now I've seen a lot in the last 3 1/2 months ever since I stopped going cross-eyed. But this, this was new. Had Mom put back one too many glasses of vino the night before? Had she spiked my milk? Had she slipped me a Mickey? Was I halucinating?

HELLO...MY HANDS ARE PINK AND FURRY! A LITTLE HELP HERE!

Next thing I know these two giant furballs are trying to eat my face. I'm bobbing and weaving, but I can't get out of the way. I seemed to be restrained in my stroller. There was nowhere to turn, they kept coming at me from both sides.

I was totally about to lose it and then just as fast as the furballs were there...they were gone. All ten fingers back on my hands! Did that really just happen? Should I mention this to anyone? Will they think I'm crazy? I'll keep this to myself I think...I'll just put my fingers back in my mouth and pretend it never happened......

Noa Sloan* Gets an Asterisk

First Barry Bonds, then Marion Jones, now Noa Sloan.

Monday's afternoon weigh-in at Dr. Eisenberg's office has many eyebrows raised in speculation that Noa Sloan might be the newest superbaby to hit the juice. The stats simply cannot be ignored: 14lbs 15oz at just 3-months old! One can't help but wonder if Noa could've ever reached this impressive weight without the help of performance enhancing drugs.

Through a teary apology, Noa Sloan denied knowingly participating in the alleged human growth hormone use, claiming: "I knew my mommy was feeding me something, but she always told me it was nutritionally supplemented breastmilk and I believed her!"

Noa Sloan may very well be stripped of her Exersaucer and Bouncy-Seat should an ongoing investigation by the International Gymboree Association find her guilty.

Mom and Dad remain positive, confident that the recent allegations won't hinder their daughter's future aspirations of rolling over and crawling.

Noa Takes the Windy City by Storm

Noa is certainly racking in the frequent flyer miles!

She's back in town only 5 seconds from a last minute mid-week getaway to see Grandma and Papa in Chicago and she's already booked for two more return trips to the Windy City before 2007 comes to a close. Pair that with a luxurious 10-day beach jaunt to Sanibel Island this Christmas and she'll be lounging in first class and munching on sesame snack mix in the Admirals Club before you know it. Who knows, maybe her first words will be Jet Blue?!? Man, she must have a pretty good travel agent!!

Click HERE to see the full photo-recap.

Celebrity Feud #98: Noa Sloan vs MTV

Die-hard Noa fans will be disappointed to learn that her much anticipated episode of MTV Cribs will not be seen this Fall season. After nearly three months of rehearsing for the grueling 3am film shoot, Noa gave the MTV camera crew the ultimate dis:

She slept through it!

Mom and Dad were peeking in Noa's nursery every hour, wondering why the usual night-owl had not arrived on set despite an early 8pm bedtime. Noa Sloan finally opened her eyes at 6:30 am, grinning from ear to ear, as if the 10 1/2 hour sleep-a-thon was no big deal.

The tabloids are buzzing about Noa's no-show. US Weekly blames Noa's Cribs snub on insecurity over her rather modest nursery digs compared fellow A-listers such as Shiloh Jolie-Pitt, who reportedly has a 42" flat screen plasma hung on the guardrails of her pimped-out Bellini.

But neighbors and friends say the parents are to blame: Blood-curdling wails were heard from the Benerofe apartment last week, causing speculation that the "cry it out" method was behind the recent scandal. Fueling those rumors is Mom, who has been spotted around town carrying the book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child.

A reshoot has been scheduled but sources say Mom and Dad are doing everything they can to make sure Noa Sloan pulls this sleeping trick on MTV once again.

HAPPY 30th BIRTHDAY, DADDY!!

Yep, its true. Dad finally hit the big 3-0 today. You can't tell by looking at him, he can't even grow a full beard yet! Mom put me in my cutest outfit and brought me to Dad's office to bring him birthday cookies. I was thinking that sleeping thru the night tonight would be the PERFECT gift, but let's face it: 30 is still pretty young. He can handle a few more months of 3am poopy diapers!


"Mom. I'm not quite sure I can sit up on my own yet. Take it quick, I'm on borrowed time here!"


"Whoa! Man down! Man down!"

"Whoa-Ah" Passes Inspection

The highly anticipated introduction of Noa to Cousin Meredith finally took place last week at Grandma and Papa's house in Chicago. Meredith needed to double-check that Noa had all the right parts:
Belly Button: CHECK.
Toes: CHECK.
After passing inspection, Meredith quickly promoted "Whoa-Ah" to Second Favorite Person status, in line behind current reining Favorite Person: Papa Ken. All week, Meredith zipped around the house asking for "Whoa-Ah"; patting her head, giving her kisses, and washing her hands. Noa already misses her new partner in crime!

Check out the full Chicago picture gallery here, and visit the Video Gallery to see how it all went down.


"Pucker up!"


"I know Noa has a belly button, but she has nipples too?? Craziness!!"


"Hey Mom...Do you think Meredith knows I just peed in the bath??"


"You're wasting your tears, Noa. If you just say OUCH over and over I promise they'll come running. That's what I do!"

Happy New Year!

Noa Spotted at Nobu; DeNiro Comps First Round of Breastmilk

The paparazzi were swarming the perennially hip downtown hotspot Nobu last Saturday night to catch a glimpse of newly coined "It-Baby" Noa Sloan dining on Miso Cod and Rock Shrimp Tempura. Rolling with an entourage 5 deep, Noa was seen canoodling with at least 2 different people, who sources believe to be her dad and her grandma. The kissable infant shunned photographers by periodically ducking for cover beneath Mom's shirt. But was it REALLY breastmilk she was drinking under there? Sources speculate something stronger after she passed out at the table in her carseat and could barely hold her head up when leaving the restaurant. Noa's reps are currently napping, and unavailable for comment.

The Daddy Band Reunion Tour 2007

Was it luck??

Did she know a guy who knows a guy?

Who cares. Point is: Noa Sloan scored herself front row seats to the Daddy Band Reunion Tour playing one night only on the living room couch.

On hiatus since the birth of his daughter and the scandalous dissolution of The Rhythm Room (currently under new management and renamed The Guest Room), lead guitarist Daddy is back on the 6 string and better than ever. It was Boppy-Room-Only at the sold out show and the place was rockin'. Daddy debuted with a little Old McDonald, shredded his solo during The Itsy Bitsy Spider, and had Noa on the edge of her Boppy with an encore performance of You Are My Sunshine.

Rumor has it this underground performance has officially pulled The Daddy Band out of retirement and rumblings of an expanded Fall tour has Noa Sloan literally peeing in her pants with anticipation!!

Denim Days

During her weekly mani-pedi, Noa finally caught up on all the latest trends while reading the September issue of In Style Magazine. Ever the fashion trendsetter, Noa begged Mom on the walk home to make a detour at the mall to buy her first pair of jeans. Risking a serious case of diaper rash after trying on everything from capris to low-rise to acid washed (sooo '80s, Mom!), Noa decided to put her own twist on the skinny ankle-zip trend and went with a look all her own: The Snap Crotch. Yep, you just wait, it's going to be ALL the rage at the runway shows during September Fashion Week!

Private Noa Reports for Duty

"Mom, can you even see me in this camo?!?"

Discovering that Coltrane isn't just our pet goldfish, Noa takes "Giant Steps" to hear some real Jazz

Last night, for a change, the funk was not in Noa's diaper: it was playing in the courtyard of our apartment building. Just like her Dad, Noa was really feeling the music, bopping her head and kicking her polkies to the beat. The usual suspects were there, including Noa's older boy-toy Tanner. His guitar onesie really sealed the deal, and made a good impression on Noa's Dad, too! This kids no dummie!


"Nothin' like a little ragtime after a rough day of poopin' and eatin'!"


"Man, this guitarist is ripping some SICK arpeggios! Dad, what's an arpeggio?"


"Tanner, do we have to bring our Dads on EVERY date?? Talk about a buzz-kill!"

The Progression of a Smile

"Let me get this straight: When you say CHEESE, I'm supposed to smile?"


"Yeah, I think I can do that..."


"How's this? Should I go bigger???"


"Yeah, baby! I'm really rockin' this whole smiling thing!"

Right Back 'Atcha, Kid!

Look who's smiling...

Noa's Calendar is BOOKED

Noa Had her busiest weekend YET!

Friday Noa visited Dad at Vineyard Vines where she was promptly put to work stuffing tissue in tie boxes and answering phones in the call center. That night, Mom and Dad's friends Mike and Sarah were in town from Boulder with their two kids, Jaden and Kessiah, who took turns playing "Baby" on Noa's activity mat. Saturday, Mom and Dad enjoyed a much-needed "date night" and left Noa in the care of not one but FOUR expert babysitters: Grandma Robin, Grandpa Jimmy, Aunt Hayley and Uncle Tyler.

Check it out:

"Hey Dad, why don't you guys make those whale shirts in MY size?"



"Even Jaden and Kessiah make me look big in their arms!"



"What IS this guy talking about???"

Noa Trains for 2008 Ironman

Noa had her 6-week checkup on Tuesday and tipped the scales at an impressive 11 lbs 11 oz: the 97th percentile for her age. Dr. Ross couldn't believe our little tank was feeding on Mom's breastmilk alone. Go Mom!

Noa's First Playdate

Last week Noa had a play date with her adorable, street-smart New York City friend Anabel, who is 3 months old. These pictures were taken after an exciting trip to Target, where Noa had a meltdown in the diaper aisle causing Mom to abandon her cart and make a beeline for the door. Both moms are doubtful whether the two babies acknowledged each other's presence: Noa was mesmerized by her own face in the mirror and Anabel thought the activity mat would be much more fun if she lifted her dress!

Dad and Noa Kick It

Noa and Dad do some major bonding when he gets home from work. They've instituted a hard-core workout regiment involving neck strengthening and tummy time, but have yet to work on the gag reflex. Conveniently, Mom seems to be on the losing end of that deal, as the favorite target of one projectile spit-up too many!

Noa meets Aunt Liz and Uncle Mark

Noa had a great weekend with her Aunt Liz and Uncle Mark who came to visit from Chicago. Already taking after her mom, Noa planned a weekend filled with shopping on Greenwich Avenue, a picnic lunch in the park, and plenty of cuddling on the couch. Copy and paste the link below to see more pics!

http://www.kodakgallery.com/I.jsp?c=13wzjj0j.5behl3k7&x=0&y=-6noigh

Noa Discovers the Swing, Mom Finally Eats Lunch